Random ramblings

Brain is mush today. Pop's port was clogged with blood so we had to bring him in to get that flushed. I have a new Boss, for the job they didn't hire me for and that chafes like wool bikini breifs,my energy level is bottoming out, my part-time job shorted me on pay I think,my crew is beginning to seriously bug me, car is shaky again, my body is beaten up pretty badly & got a message from the ex-gf today......so yeah...kind of a full day...I'll break it down: Pop was looking at his port and it had some weird discoloration on it. Some research showed that it was clogged with coagulated blood. He himmed and hawed about going in and finally submitted. Was upset about the doctor's bills. Mom didn't help much. She needs to lear to that it's how you say it, not what. She harped on him.....no man likes being harped on (ladies, please take note on this and the delivery suggestions)..if she'd just alter her response to something more supportive like "I'm worried about this. I'd feel alot better if you got this checked out. Just ease my fears". Delivery is everything.......... The doc said it was very important that he did come in and was happy he did. He's still dropping weight. I turned over my muscle milk to him along with alot of my heavy foods trying to put some weight back on him, that means I'm down to 2 shakes a day total. Kinda sucks but I have QUITE the buffer so I can afford to lose a lil.... The new boss came in this morning. She's nice, very new. We are on the same page on alot of things on the surface at least. Time will tell. Irked that I was passed over for it. Irked that it's expected that I do things WAY outside of my paygrade...because I am over-qualified and I can do them....seriously...when was the last time you got NY Strip off the dollar menu???? It irks me...even though that is the trend, expect more and more for less and less. I keep my mouth shut more often than not. Do the job they pay me for. That's what I'm here for. Not to have them bleed me for every money saving idea and toss me aside when they feel they have drained enough of me. I see this happening more and more each day. Not just in my org....but in places everywhere. Worn....I'm just worn. The wedding was supposed to be a vacation. Recharge my batteries. Didn't quite turn out as great as I imagined though. But that's on me. Sometimes ya just have to shut the damm phone off, not take the bait, and enjoy your surroundings. I've been doing that more and more. Walking away from conversations that are useless and or no-win situations...and I gotta say...it's good. Especially when you're dealing with someone who's pride demands they get the last word in or is very mistaken on the facts and chooses to live in their own fantasy worlds...smh Pay...I realize the holiday season is upon us and times are tight...but guess what. They're tight on me as well. If you can't pay me for the job I'm doing.....do it your damm self. 'Nuff said on that. Crew-I have a fairly decent crew for what they do. But lately they have been taking advantage of my good nature. I have been looking at things and have had to crack down and be the bad guy lately otherwise it's my neck. None of these are difficult things. For instance, these are my main problems I have been having lately. Cell Phone use on the floor, Punctuality, and safety glasses. None of these 3 are especially hard to deal with or accept....one would think. For weeks now I have warned the staff that the easy days were over and they had to adhere to policy. Well that ended abruptly last night. I worte a guy up for his glasses. He didn't bring them in...and twice I had to tell him to go get them. I have to write another up tonight. Now I'm the mean boss and they don't volunteer for OT. Our company has banned cell phones in the building unless they are a business need. It was never really enforced but I have been when I caught newbies talking on their phones while working and watching youtube videos...drives me nuts. My organization has been in the habit of forgiving bad behavior and in some cases it's valid. Other's it isn't. I finally have the support I need to get everyone in line. I may lose a few of them through the course of this, and that's how things roll.....We're all adults. I'm not here to babysit. Car & body. I love my car, don't get me wrong, it's been through alot. I just need it to hold together a lil while longer while I continue to repair damage that was done during my past relationship. That has been slow going.....My body on the other hand.....I am constantly in pain. Sometimes I cant even sleep because I hurt so much...that does NOTHING for my disposition. I have been watching what I eat, taking my vitamins, made a few crucial changes (less energy drinks and sugar free ones when I do have them)....Keep wishing for that lucky lotto ticket...c'mon..I'd totally spread the wealth too!!! Message from the Ex. Not really sure what prompted it but it was a nice apology that she couldn't be there for me, followed by some self-serving crap about how she made the right decision in leaving me when I left her...smh. I don't know, some folk lie to protect their pride and self-image, she is famous for it. Well...not the right out lying but the very subtle twists, dodges, and deflections. It is what it is. She did say she made the decision to move away, which is great news for her, and me. She has some opportunity she couldn't afford to pass up, one she would've had to pass up if we were a serious couple (I'm NOT moving ANY further away from my boys...they have already paid a stiff price for my screw-ups), has had wonderful times out and about since we split, and is active again on the dating/Physical scene....which I think is wonderful. She has always bounced back quickly, usually in a month or less...record is 8 days even, lol. I don't fault her. It's her life, not mine. She can reap the benefits or suffer the consequences with no impact upon me. I tried giving advice...you can guess how well that was recieved. I just was trying to be honest. I have no stake in what happens except I'd truly like her to be happy. I don't bear any ill will or hate. It's a fully unproductive use of my energy. I just tried to impart a few lessons onto her. I think in time she'll see this as a very good thing. She can have a fresh start in a new place, grow her career and life which was relatively untouched by this madness, become truly happy with someone like-minded, perhaps learn, heal, and change, or find someone accepting of it all. Either way, it's a good move for everyone and I wish her all the best in the world. It is sad that it didn't work, but in the end I guess there was far too much damage done on both sides. A shame really...but everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is people are idiots and make bad choices...myself included I really need a night out like this again...or just drinks in the garage with friends..lol