Revelations.....some grand...some simple

People in either direct, or indirect methods show us who they are, what they value, & how you rate..... This happens every moment of every day. The problem lies in the fact that we do not believe them. Good, or in my experience...bad. We instead tend to create what we wish to see. This too can be good or bad. I saw an amazing quote tonight that summed it up. "Everything we hear is an Opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth" Marcus Aurelius. I find this quite profound. When we are faced with a situation, how we process that says so much more about ourselves than the actual situation itself. Few are dispassionate enough to apply a truly neutral viewpoint to something we have a stake in. On to a tighter focus: I have had my fair share of shady folk in my life. I have been shady myself. The odd part is...I know the signs. I know the flags. Yet I ignore the patterns. And that is because I wanted these things to be something they are not. Either by their choice or design, they cannot be who I want/need them to be. They are who they are. They may not be who they CLAIM to be, but they are who they are. In that I find problems....as I imagine most would, lol. Life would be simpler if everyone had a CarFax...lol. Believe me. I truly dislike being the mean person. But I have come to a point in my life where I will not be used, lied to, betrayed, or manipulated by anyone for any reason. I'll cut you out in a heartbeat. I wont be pressured, I wont be stalked. But if pushed....it never ends well for those that test me. No, I'm not Barney Bad-ass by any means....but do not trifle with me either....... Musing for the day: if I'm such a insignificant part of your life.....If I am the past and you have a bright future......seriously...why stalk me? Why go past my house...google earth (that one slays me), stalk my pintrest, my blogs, create fake profiles to stalk my social media......create ghost people who "ask you questions about me"......If life is so grand....why are you ever so interested in my Vanilla life? If I wasn't worth the time, consideration, respect, or integrity when I was a part of your life....why such a hard focus now? Folks poke their noses into things hoping to find dirt....when it doesn't exist...they create it. Why? Because...it is what they wish to see it as. (the going theme for this post). I think one of the greatest disrespects is to be ignored. To have your words fall upon deaf ears. or worse...to be heard and....nothing. It is saying your words do not matter...you do not matter, but if you visit the same behavior upon the instigator, well then, that is a great sin all of a sudden. The ones who ignore are often the ones who demand to be heard the loudest. The ones that hide the most demand transparency....and when you ask them, you're told they owe you nothing. It really is odd how that works. Women wonder why men avoid commitment....Well how can anyone resist with a whirlwind of crap like this....lmao. I don't want to make it all seem like torture, because it isn't. There is cooking together, geek out sessions, back and head rubs that have ya drooling in no time flat, & those little moments you can lose yourself in. It seems though, things like that are few and far between. I'm finding that I enjoy my solitude more and more...what little there is of it. I am becoming jaded...rough....and growly. This isn't who I am.....but it is who I am becoming. At this point I am having less and less desire for social interaction. Granted yes my brothers are always there to do things with me and that is great fun when I have it....but beyond that it's hard to be excited about anything these days. I can lament upon my foul luck....poor choices...and misplaced faith,....but to what end? When the day draws to a close it comes down to choices. We can choose to be with someone, or we cannot. We can choose to be happy, or we cannot. We can choose to build the life we want, or we cannot. The past...is well, past. Learn from it, but do not live in it. I'm finding I have more years behind me now than ahead of me....and when they are all gone and I look back, what will I see? Regret? Shame? Hate? Failure? Loss? Or can I choose to see Joy, Passion, Laughter, Happiness, really bad jokes....amazing cooking, oddball geekery sessions, cold hard cider, cool pillows, & warm memories I guess time will tell.

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