Life & Times of the Semi-Domesticated Irish Bear

It has been a long time since I wrote. Alot has happened. I will try to sum it up over this and the next few posts. At the end of June my dad lost his battle with Cancer.  It was a rough time. But it did teach me a few valuable lessons. Most importantly, who you can count on and who you can't. Alot of folk gave lip service, which is understandable. We are all fighting our own battles, and some offered and I never really took them up on things, which is no reflection unto them, most days I wanted to be alone. But a few folk I never expected to just....drop. I guess. The natural reaction is to say "Let me know if you need anything" "I'm always here for you", etc. But the reality is....you cant count on alot of folk. The ones you think will be there always usually are not. And there's always a reason, "Couldn't get there, watching my sisters kid, no sitter...whatever. The one that gets me the most is "I wish I could be there" oh

"The past tempts us, The Present confuses us, and the Future frightens us. And our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in the vast terrible in-between. but there is still time to seize that one last, fragile moment. To Choose something better, to make a difference, as you say...and I intend to do just that" --Emperor Turhan  —  feeling inspired.

So...you've decided to give it another go. This usually results in one party recognizing the error of their ways.....aaaand the other using it as leverage for the undetermined future. Sorry kids, in many ways it's just that simple. Usually yourself or former partner says "I made a horrible mistake, I'll do anything it takes to make this work" These are comforting, but often hollow words. I mean in all seriousness, how many of us really....truly will do "Whatever it takes"? Few, in fact. In reality...and this goes back to my constant pounding on the misuse of words and subtle altering of words and statements to fit a situation. Most people are only willing to go so far in fixing a relationship. Unfortunately MOST of that travel involves the other party altering what they do and say. I have been a party to this sad to say on many occasions. And have had it done on me. Most of us in my age group (30-40+) know better than to believe this....yet we still

Hello all, continuing with my mental dump I thought I'd touch on how things are often handled in a break up or make up. 9 for 10 you have one side that handles it better than the other, either because it's what they want, because they throw up a facade, or because they've already moved on to the next guy on their family list, lol. I think where things get twitchy is the lack of honesty. Really, even in a breakup there is alot of lying going on. It seems, for whatever reason, folks tend to lie, deflect, or dodge the uncomfortable truths you come across. Now this can be from a sense of shame when they look at their own actions and positions, desire to shield the other party from pain, fear over a hidden detail, or just because it's the path of least resistance. I have done my fair share of bullshitting, believe me. So I know a manure truck when it pulls up. Yet some people insist on maintaining ridiculous cover stories. Why? Pride? Perhaps. I think often the truth..t

A few random thoughts that have been rolling around for awhile. No particular order. Just figured I'd get them on "Paper" and maybe that will help. Some of these have been things that have been rolling around in my head for years, some recent. How do you let go of pain, without visiting it upon others? Can you really get past some pains without transferring them? How do you cope with impending loss? When you know...KNOW something is about to go sideways...how do you deal with that? What do you do when the important people in your life go from an integral part of your life, to just a memory? A collection of pictures and messages...trinkets? How do you fill that void? What do you do when someone you've tied your life to, or based a large part of your future on, has gone? I have often wrote that the only constant is change...but how do you maintain your path, your goals...in spite of that change? We all have an idea...in our heads of how life is supposed to be

There comes a point in every person’s life when he or she parts ways with someone: ex, friend and anyone in between. Upon first meeting this person, there’s a sweet beginning, but once you come to really know each other and grow comfortable, you suddenly realize that the relationship no longer brings any particular value to your life and is perhaps, even detrimental. Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people together, but if you feel as though there’s nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that’s simply no longer worth holding onto. We grow complacent with people once we’re comfortable with them. But, hanging onto someone for the pure sake of it and because you don’t know anything else isn’t a good enough reason. Fear is another reason why we can’t move on. There’s the fear of being alone and not being able to find someone else; fear of someone using our deepest and

People in either direct, or indirect methods show us who they are, what they value, & how you rate..... This happens every moment of every day. The problem lies in the fact that we do not believe them. Good, or in my experience...bad. We instead tend to create what we wish to see. This too can be good or bad. I saw an amazing quote tonight that summed it up. "Everything we hear is an Opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth" Marcus Aurelius. I find this quite profound. When we are faced with a situation, how we process that says so much more about ourselves than the actual situation itself. Few are dispassionate enough to apply a truly neutral viewpoint to something we have a stake in. On to a tighter focus: I have had my fair share of shady folk in my life. I have been shady myself. The odd part is...I know the signs. I know the flags. Yet I ignore the patterns. And that is because I wanted these things to be something they are not. Ei