Life & Times of the Semi-Domesticated Irish Bear

For too long I obsessed over everything. Every detail, every nuance, every word, and yes every action or inaction in a desperate bid to understand it all. To bring some logic to it, or grasp it all. Today that stops. For what it's worth I forgive you Tammy. I no longer will seek revenge, nor seek to understand it all. I forgive the lies, the treachery, the deceit. I forgive the lies told to the kids, the whitewashing of your deeds. I forgive the anger, I forgive the ridiculous hoops you made me jump through. I forgive the loyalty games, the fake profiles, the unauthorized accessing of my bank records. I forgive the manipulations, the word games, and the deflections to avoid uncomfortable truths. I forgive the flirts, I forgive you for the guys you slept with, the ones you admitted...and the ones you haven't (we both know who they are and when they were). I forgive you using me as a safety net while you "stretched your legs" in the dating world and found your

It happened....I never thought this day would come, but it did. (Edit..this post if 4+ months overdue been real busy). I drove by today, and for the first time I felt...nothing. No guilt, no pain, no love, no sorrow, no joy, no nostalgia. I truly never though this day would come. But it has. It's like a giant weight has been lifted off of me. I can now look upon my past and draw from it, instead of being a prisoner of it. I have amazing opportunities ahead of me now. I'm expanding my job skills and looking at relocating soon. I keep hearing whispers of her and what she's up to now. I really don't care about any of it. I don't trust the source and look at the info kinda the same way I look at channel surfing when you're drunk and come across Telemundo. Ya don't quite know what to make of it...not fully sure what's going on...mildly entertaining, but you tire of it quickly. It doesn't matter which parts are fact and which parts are embelli

"A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half."--Jeff Cooper "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand upon, I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them. Most men, regardless of cause or need, blink an eye or draw a breath before they pull the trigger. I won't." -John Wayne from "The Shootist" "There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities; it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the deat h of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain." G'Kar quotin

"Either you have an enviable memory, or a pitiable life, to know nothing of regret." --Sten, DAO