Triggers
Falling a bit behind again. Life happens and I wanted to organize my thoughts as well. It's amazing the cycles life takes.
Last session with the counselor we discussed triggers. What triggers memories and specifically triggers of the ex. There was such a vast list of good and bad we mainly dealt with the odd ones. In particular, certain shows, like Falling Skies, Defiance. Those were shows that were "ours" to a degree. To the point I haven't watched them anymore. Chicken Burgers form Sam's cub...don't ask...it really is an odd thing. Red Lobster...which isn't an issue because Im not a seafood guy.
But you never really realize how much of an impact someone has til you disconnect the threads from your life. Again, this....in the end...is a VERY good thing. As evidenced by recent discoveries and a dispassionate look at things beginning to end with her. Some time from now I will look back and see that this was the best possible gift she could have ever given me.
BBQ-ing was another trigger I noticed, certain places, sounds, smells, and tastes. All come together to trigger memories, some pleasant, most not. But its all part of genuinely caring for an individual. You make them a part of yourself.
Some of these triggers I have avoided, some I have deliberately made an effort to associate with different people. El Toro, the Mexican restaurant we used to go to is a big one. I started going there with family, friends, anyone who would go. And Slowly, it stopped being a place that was about me and her. It became about me and my life.
Some of the triggers are so powerful, I beat them simply by denying them an engagement. I don't watch the shows yet because of the memories attached to them are too powerful, and I don't always go to the places we went to for the same reason.
And at the end of the day......that's what its all about, taking my life back.
Last session with the counselor we discussed triggers. What triggers memories and specifically triggers of the ex. There was such a vast list of good and bad we mainly dealt with the odd ones. In particular, certain shows, like Falling Skies, Defiance. Those were shows that were "ours" to a degree. To the point I haven't watched them anymore. Chicken Burgers form Sam's cub...don't ask...it really is an odd thing. Red Lobster...which isn't an issue because Im not a seafood guy.
But you never really realize how much of an impact someone has til you disconnect the threads from your life. Again, this....in the end...is a VERY good thing. As evidenced by recent discoveries and a dispassionate look at things beginning to end with her. Some time from now I will look back and see that this was the best possible gift she could have ever given me.
BBQ-ing was another trigger I noticed, certain places, sounds, smells, and tastes. All come together to trigger memories, some pleasant, most not. But its all part of genuinely caring for an individual. You make them a part of yourself.
Some of these triggers I have avoided, some I have deliberately made an effort to associate with different people. El Toro, the Mexican restaurant we used to go to is a big one. I started going there with family, friends, anyone who would go. And Slowly, it stopped being a place that was about me and her. It became about me and my life.
Some of the triggers are so powerful, I beat them simply by denying them an engagement. I don't watch the shows yet because of the memories attached to them are too powerful, and I don't always go to the places we went to for the same reason.
And at the end of the day......that's what its all about, taking my life back.
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